Your Knife My Back.
My Gun… Your Head
Peep my record books and remind me that there ain’t nothing I do better than get revenge.
Beat me once? Shame on me.
Beat me twice? Wake the fuck up. It ain’t happening, you dreaming.
You find yourself in that rare occasion and defeat “Nigger Almighty”…then you make damn well sure you get as far away as possible from the rematch.
August 30th… Get your tickets. Do whatever you gotta do to be there.
PWP 1 Year Anniversary Show, aka James Shark’s Welcome Back Party aka Sister Liliana’s Goodbye Celebration.
Let’s Get It… ____________________________________________________________________________________________
Randall Jobbs: The winner of this match via pinfall, at the 4:03 mark, Sister Liliana!!!
Roy Hardy: Wow!! She does it again!!!! James Shark?
Jesse Watson: I don’t believe it!! Sister Liliana has picked up yet another victory, over the returning James Shark and has given him not only his first loss here BUT now his second, incredible!! James?? James Shark?
Roy Hardy: There was a lot of talk that the first time was a fluke but THAT right there just proved all doubters wrong, Shark??
Jesse Watson: Right from the opening bell, James Shark went after her but Sister Liliana weathered the storm! He threw a lot of haymakers looking to finish her off early but she took advantage of those missed shots, any little opening he gave her, she capitalized on it! Shark?? Sir???
Roy Hardy: Way to crash the return party, who knows what’s next for-
“SHARK?”
I jumped out of my seat shocked, dazed and confused. My forehead covered in sweat, my shirt covered in drool. It took me a moment to gather my thoughts and recollect myself. After a few seconds, it wasn’t long until reality hit me right in the face….
My return didn’t happen yet nor was I anywhere near a ring. I was just here, here on my big fancy private jet… it was all just another… nightmare.
I squinted my eyes, rubbing them together, trying to adjust to the brightness on board before I heard the man’s voice again, the same voice that was breaking into my dream just now.
“Sir… I’m sorry if I startled you but…” The man slowly removed his hand off of my shoulder as I tried to stare up at him, my eyes adjusted to make out who he was… it was my pilot.
PILOT: We’ve um… we’ve landed in Los Angeles.
SCENE001: “COMEBACK SEASON”
AUGUST 15TH 2014
LOS ANGELES, CA
CAMERA: [OFF]There was an awkward silence between the two of us for what seemed like a whole minute. He was probably expecting a reaction out of me but I had none, I was just at a loss for words right now. Was that all he wanted to tell me?
SHARK: I swear bruh….
I sigh and run my hands down my face.
SHARK: ….this better be me having a dream in my dream right now. There is no way you just woke my ass up with that rusty ass voice of yours along with them butt fingering hands all up on my shoulders…Wiping the drool off of my lips, I turned away from him and looked out the window. We had definitely landed in Los Angeles. I just couldn’t figure out what the rush was. It was as if the dude was so eager to wake me up and now here he was in front of me… frozen like an opponent across the ring from me.
Of course I probably intimidated him a little bit, but I was pissed off.
Pissed off at that damn dream, pissed off that I kept seeing it over and over again with different versions
BUT the same outcome. Losing to Sister was hard enough on me, it was humiliating, a fucking embarrassment and now I had to relive that moment every time I shut my eyes? Now I had to envision me fucking up a second time every time I lay down or relaxed? I just couldn’t catch a break with the bitch.
Losing to the hoe seriously haunted my ass and sure, part of me was thankful for my pilot to help me escape that nightmare that I’ve been having so continuously as of late BUT the other part of me also realized that I needed all the sleep I could get.
Ever since I returned it’s been nothing but photo shoots here, interviews there, commercials shoots on that corner and training in the other corner. That’s what it’s been like for three weeks straight and now finally… finally that I had some time to just sit back and rest… this motherfucker right here decides it’d be a great idea to come in between that.
PILOT: Sir.. I’m sorry I was just..
SHARK: Nah nigga… fuck a sorry, the hell is your job exactly?
PILOT: I.. well I uh..
SHARK: Your job is to fly the damn jet right? Since when did I pay you to wake me up? Los Angeles ain’t going nowhere is it? Nah, It’s staying right here. I don’t got no meetings to attend do I? Nah. This my day off right? Yah. So the fuck is your bitch ass doing man? Wish we was still up in the sky so I can throw your ass off this jet, god damn.
PILOT: But sir…
SHARK: “But Sir” my black ass bruh, don’t say another word, I’m going to close my eyes and you’re going to close ya damn mouth AND hope that I’m able to catch these Z’s otherwise you getting hurt my nigga. You out of all people should know what it’s been like for me these past couple of weeks and now you over here trying to get shot.
PILOT: Brooklyn, it’s Brooklyn, she.. she called me and-
SHARK: Fuck you mean Brooklyn called you?? I literally leaped out of my seat and grilled him, eyeing him up and down and staring a hole right through his face. I was over here staring through this niggas soul and the chump was shitting his pants, not only could I feel it, but I could smell it too…
PILOT: She… just she.. she… please sir… calm down I..He slowly took his hands and reached towards me, but I slapped them away from my direction.
SHARK: NAH FUCK YOUR “CALM DOWN”. The fuck is wifey doing calling you and not me? How the hell she even have your number anyways?? Before anything else could happen, I got hit by something on the back of my head. *THUMP* It didn’t hurt, it was actually a very light feeling but because of how unexpected it was it made me jump regardless.
“Ahem… move please.” I recognized that voice immediately.
SHARK: Speaking of the devil… We both turned around to see none other than wifey herself, Brooklyn Marie Carter-Shark and god damn did she look fine. One of the things that changed in my personal life after taking a break from the sport was us, we were married now, and I damn sure put a ring on one of the baddest bitches to ever walk planet earth.
She was holding a rolled up magazine in her hands, it was obviously her weapon of choice that she used to hit me with just seconds ago. I put my arms out to give her a hug hello, but instead, she ducked under them and walked over to the pilot instead causing me to frown my face.
BROOKLYN: I am SO, so sorry. I didn’t know bae was going to react like this. It’s not his fault really, you see, he hasn’t really taken his medication today and I actually haven’t given him his shots either. I put my hands on my waist and watched her as I just shook my head
SHARK: …..The hell are you on about yo
BROOKLYN: And the thing is, I have to inject the shots in his butt and he really doesn’t like that so as you can see… THIS is the result of that, he turns into a BIG BALD HEADED WHINY LITTLE BABY THAT DOESN’T ANSWER HIS PHONE! GOD JAMES! I CALLED YOU LIKE FORTY FIVE TIMES!
SHARK: Damn… 45 an odd as fuck number… did you count?
BROOKLYN: YES I COUNTED!
PILOT: Uh ok… maybe I should um go…
SHARK: Nigga the only thing you can go do is floss with my anus hairs, you aint going anywhere.
PILOT: But I-
BROOKLYN: Ugh, don’t listen to him, your allowed to leave. Sorry again about my husband. The pilot was just about to leave until I stomped my foot on the floor real
HARD, getting both of their attention.
SHARK: We got unfinished business nigga, I said you aint going anywhere, fuck you listening to Brooklyn for, she ain’t your boss, I am!
BROOKLYN: Well maybe you’re HIS boss but I think he… along with everyone else just KNOWS that I’m YOUR boss, so actually what I say goes, YAYShe turned back towards the pilot.
BROOKLYN: You can go love, take care! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing right now, that really just happened. Brooklyn flashed me a warm smile before leaning towards me and giving me that proper greeting I should’ve gotten, kissing me on the lips before I gently pushed her away.
SHARK: You something else girl I swear, you really let that fucker get away.
BROOKLYN: Ha, boy please, what were you going to do with him here, kill him?
SHARK: Hell the fuck yeah I was. Now he’s just going to get killed by some other nigga. That’s on you Marie, I woulda done it quick and easy. You going to hear about this dude on the radio now about how he got chopped up into lil pieces or some shit… Brooklyn looked at me as if I were crazy.
BROOKLYN: And why does he have to die for?
SHARK: Cause you don’t mess with a nigga’s beauty sleep. She rolled her eyes at me, we both walked out of the private jet being met by a nice, cool breeze. I guess I needed the fresh air because I found myself just standing there enjoying it, breathing it in and out. Brooklyn grabbed my hand and smiled up at me, giving me another quick kiss. It was crazy how just moments ago I was incredibly annoyed and pissed off… only for Brooklyn to come along and change my whole mood.
Breaking up with each other for the 8 millionth time had to be the most stupidest decision we’ve ever made. Out of all the breakups and makeups we’ve had, the history we shared and the twins we created…how could we’ve not seen that we were on some motherfuckin soulmate ish?
Marrying each other came unexpected, especially since it came straight out of those corny romantic movie plots… marrying each other drunk, in vegas, waking up the next day only to flip our shits.
However we were both smart enough to know that even though it came out of the blue, it wasn’t a mistake and it’s what we both wanted. It was meant to be.
BROOKLYN: So are we just going to stand here and stare off into the distance all day or…
SHARK: Shit.. I’m down.
BROOKLYN: Well I’m not, we have to go, after calling your phone a dozen times and then coming here in person did you think I was just calling to say hello? We’re already late. She pulled my hand as we walked down the steps of the private jet and onto the pavement. I honestly felt some sort of relief walking down those steps to not be met by cameras, screaming fans or panties being thrown at me.
It was definitely more peaceful than these last few weeks but now with Brooklyn saying we were late, somehow I imagined that I had jinxed myself and now we were on our way to another damn interview or something. She was speed walking to a limousine pulling my arm along with her.
SHARK: Where we going tho???
BROOKLYN: We talked about this, you should pay attention.I let go of her grasps and watched as she walked over to the limo by herself. Funny how this girl had the power to change my mood so easily, I groaned out loud all irritated and followed her from behind.
SHARK: Pretty sure we ain’t talked about shit man, if we heading over to some media related bullshit tell me right now so we can cancel it. I ain’t tryna do another one of those, that’s been my life for three weeks straight.Brooklyn ignored me as we stopped in front of the limo. The limo driver came out and smiled at us, but I just gave him the finger, right to his face.
BROOKLYN: Ugh, you’re such an asshole.
SHARK: Nah fuck that yo, I don’t know where we going and this hindu fucker smiling at me like he undressing me or something.
BROOKLYN: You treat all your employees like shit.
SHARK: Yea well it’s a damn cycle bruh, maybe if you didn’t treat me like shit….
BROOKLYN: Oh, I treat you like shit? Okay, no sex for a month nigga. Before I could respond, the limo driver began to laugh. Brooklyn made her way inside the limo but I didn’t, I just stood there staring at the man.
SHARK: The fuck you laughing at you stinky paki? How the hell you gonna be laughing at me? Your chin look like the bottom of my nuts bruh. Damn terrorist looking ass nigga, pink turban, black suit, no style ass nigga. Brooklyn immediately pulled me into the limo so that I didn’t say another word, but just before she could get my whole body in there I managed to slap the dude right across the face.
BROOKLYN: Did you hit him!?
SHARK: Hell no, if I hit him he’d be sleeping, I just slapped the turd.
BROOKLYN: God, you’re so embarrassing.
SHARK: What? He started it. Suddenly, the limo driver slammed the door shut and made his way over to the driver’s seat, he started up the car and began to reverse hard before driving out of the location at a really high speed.
SHARK: Shit.. somebody in a bad mood.
BROOKLYN: You think? Ugh watch, now because of your antics he’s going to drive us into the middle of nowhere and kill us or something.
SHARK: Who him? Yea maybe if his damn turban works like a magicians hat and he can pull out a damn army or something… cause that’s exactly what he gonna need to take us out. Now tell me where the hell we going yo, stop playing these damn games with me, I seriously ain’t about to do another one of them media thi-
BROOKLYN: You’re honestly such a crybaby, you already said that, like what? 3 times now?
SHARK: WELL YOU AINT ANSWER ME THE FIRST THREE TIMES.
BROOKLYN: BECAUSE I TOLD YOU LAST WEEK MY MOM IS MOVING IN TODAY AND SHE’S HERE NOW. Jeesh, I need you to help her move her furniture in.Just as I heard that I felt like opening the door and jumping out of the damn car.
SHARK: On second thought… let’s do one of them media things.
BROOKLYN: Really James? Look, whatever it is you two got against each other, it needs to stop. She’s my mom and your my husband, we’re all family. I think her moving in with us is a good thing, I mean, she can help us with the twins and maybe this will finally give you two a chance to really get to know each other…
SHARK: Yea… I thought I knew her. I looked at her as my own damn mother Brooklyn so don’t give me that shit.
BROOKLYN: Both of you are mad at each other for stupid reasons.
SHARK: SHE KICKED ME IN THE FACE!!
BROOKLYN: And I’m about to kick you in the face if you don’t start co-operating with me here, like seriously James, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call her right now and tell her that we can’t have her stay with us because you can’t be a grownup? Do you want me to do that right now? She needs us right now, you AND me, but I guess if you want to be a whiny little fuck face about things I can just make the call right now and kick her out into the streets? Would you like that??
SHARK: YES! YES I would fucking love that, that’s a great idea. God damn, I love you so much.
Brooklyn looked at me right in the eyes, anger fueling inside of her. It looked like she was just about ready to join the Curry Driver and plan my death.
SHARK: Fine yo… whatever, I’ll co-operate, but if she says one thing to me I’m calling the exterminators to get rid of that cockroach. It got quiet for a moment before Brooklyn took a deep breath and sighed, clearly having a lot of patience with me... but honestly, things were just hectic for me right now.
The last time I’ve had an opponent on my mind like this was Nick Ridicule but at least he was a big name…. Sister Liliana? Who the hell was she? I’d like to think she was a nobody a few months back but now considered to be known as
“That chick that beat James Shark”There was a lot that bothered me about that sentence, the most obvious part of it was her being a chick.
Yeah, nowadays a majority of these female wrestlers seem to be just in it for the cameras, all dolled up, slutty looking ass hoes looking to bang every dude and start a family, but then there’s others that take this shit seriously and can beat up most guys… however I didn’t think Sister Liliana fit either of those categories.
The bitch was trash, any man that would stick their dick in that had to be more than desperate and any man that lost to her just had to have no tale….
THERE IT WAS!She fucking defeated me, not just defeated me but took my championship, ended my winning streak, and in a lot of people’s eyes….
“retired” me.
But a nigga wasn’t even retired tho…
No way in hell I was going to just vanish from the sport and retire with that loss on my record, let alone with that match being my last. She didn’t deserve to be in the ring with me and she sure as hell didn’t deserve to be my last opponent.
This match… this rematch… and herself as an opponent… as my rival, were on my mind literally 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Having this rematch and defeating her in classic James Shark fashion just meant the world to me.
After losing to her, I knew that my mind just wasn’t there that night. There was a lot going on during that time… me and Brooklyn started talking again after that nasty breakup we had, I missed not seeing my twins every day, my father seemed to still be on my mind, I was still dealing with an investigation that Estonian police were doing on me… there was just so much going on and when I saw Sister Liliana as my opponent… I didn’t take her seriously.
To me, she wasn’t my opponent, just a filler on the card because Josh Duncan had nobody left to put up against me, nobody that was willing to step up and take me on, nobody that wanted to take that risk. I guess I should’ve respected her for that fact alone, out of everybody, she was willing to say
“Fuck it, I’ll fight him, I’m not afraid” and with that attitude, she came in there with no respect for me, my power, my skill or my experience. I guess with everything going on outside of the ring, my attitude was more like
“Fuck it… I’ll take this match, beat her easily, go home, fix my problems and move on to the next one”She whooped my ass… I admit that and for a couple months now, I’ve had to accept that fact.
I took some time off… fixed a bunch of things In my personal life, cleaned out my closet, sorted out my demons, and now I think…. Scratch that… now
I KNOW I’m 100% ready, physically and most importantly… mentally.
I hope to God she doesn’t think James Shark was just sitting on the couch this whole time… because the first thing I did when I lost that night was go right back to the gym….
BROOKLYN: James… come on, let’s go.Snapping out of my thoughts, I realized that the limo had stopped and that the doors were open.
SHARK: Did turbinator drive us off to the middle of the dessert to make us give him a foot job before he kills us or something?
BROOKLYN: Whatever boy, I’m still disappointed in you, we’re home, Sharon’s out in the garage right now, just be nice.
SHARK: Oh well I’m glad she in the garage cause that’s where she’ll be sleeping tonight.
BROOKLYN: I said BE NICE. I already talked to her before picking you up and she had no issues so it seems like you’re the only one with the problem. I shook my head and chuckled, somehow I didn’t believe that for a second, but Sharon was something that added into my frustration. I had a big match coming up, I finally felt like I got rid of all the drama and was in a good place in life and then this happens…. I had a lot of reasons to hate Sharon and now I was going to be living with her?
SHARK: Aight man, I told you, we good but if she says something to me…
BROOKLYN: You won’t do shit nigga, now come on, let’s go, chop, chop.I frowned my face at her as I pushed her aside, sliding my way out of the limousine and stepping out into our driveway. In front of me was a huge moving truck that Brooklyn somehow forgot to mention, I already felt like exploding just seeing it there… I mean, how much stuff did she have? How much stuff was she moving in? Was this shit temporary…. Permanent?
“Oh Brooklyn! You’re back so soon!” ….This bitch.
Sharon came out from behind the moving truck, looking old as dirt, her hair looking all gross and sweaty… she gave Brooklyn a hug as they smiled at one another. Of course I wasn’t surprised that I got no greeti-
SHARON: And James! My oh my, it’s been so long! How are you? Wow you look great! You’ve been working out and training haven’t you? Brooklyn told me all about you getting back in the ring! …..What the actual fuck? Who was this bitch and what the hell did she do to Sharon?
Both Brooklyn and Sharon looked at me, waiting for a response but I was at a loss for words, this all came so unexpected that all I could do was just… chuckle.
BROOKLYN: Awee, okay well I’ll let you two catch up, James can help move your stuff in, I’ll be back in a minute.
SHARON: Okay, we’ll be fine! Won’t we James? Sharon turned over towards me and gave me a wink, I flashed her a forced smile. Brooklyn walked away from the scene, heading inside as she just left the two of us out here. Me and Sharon just found ourselves staring at one another, I wasn’t going to say shit, this was on her, I expected her to show her true colors now that Brooklyn was gone, for her to insult me, mock me, nag me, maybe even pull up a chair just so she could sit down and
WATCH me move all her stuff in like her damn slave.
Instead… I got the opposite.
SHARON: It really is great to see you James! I was actually able to move a lot of stuff while Brooklyn was picking you u-OH! Before I forget, how was the flight?
SHARK: …..
SHARON: Oh come on now, you don’t have to be shy James, your acting like I’m a stranger or something.
SHARK: Heh… yeah, a stranger. To be honest, that’s exactly what you ar-
SHARON: Here, let’s get to work shall we? She gently grabbed my arm and walked me over to the end of the truck, walking up the ramp and grabbing a big fancy lamp, handing it over to me. I felt like throwing it across the street, maybe even shoving it up her damn ass. The hate was incredibly real, especially more so now that she was over here standing here pretending like nothing ever happened, talking real sweet, smiling from ear to ear, it was driving me insane.
SHARON: James, come on, you’re just standing there, I’m trying to get this over and done with so we can all hang out as a family, maybe go out somewhere nice… just like old times.
SHARK: Man fuck this fake shit…I threw the lamp over on top one of the couches in our garage and stared back at her.
SHARK: How long is this going to go for because it’s been going on for about thirty seconds and I already want to grab a gun and shoot my damn self yo. I can’t take no more of this bullshit, you may be all sweet shit but that’s not how you feeling and I can see it in your damn eyes. Sharon sighed and quickly put one of the boxes down on the floor, rushing towards me and whispering to me.
SHARON: Can you keep it down?? What’s wrong with you? Do you want Brooklyn to hear you? We may have our differences, yes, but for the sake of your wife and kids can’t we put them aside and start new? Is that hard? If you love your wife, you’ll respect that she wants us to-
SHARK: Man fuck you, don’t make this about her. Talking about “If I love my wife and kids”… to hell with that crock of shit. I loved YOU alright? Get that through your thick headed skull. You the mother of my wife but I looked up at you as my own damn mother. You knew my story, you knew where I came from, all those times we talked, the advice you given me, I really looked up to you yo BUT when I needed you the most you-
SHARON: Took my daughters side? What did you expect me to do? The two of you had a horrible break up James.
SHARK: Yea, maybe it wouldn’t have been so horrible if you didn’t make it that way.
SHARON: Oh so now I played a role?
SHARK: YOU KICKED ME IN THE FUCKING FACE YOSharon looked frightened for a moment when I raised my voice, it seemed like she didn’t want Brooklyn to know we were arguing… of course I didn’t either but I knew how big our house was and there was no way Brooklyn would hear us from the second floor.
SHARON: We…. Went over this a thousand times, I kicked you in the face because you were on top of her…. How is that not a justifiable reason?
SHARK: Oh aight.. so kick first and ask questions later right?
SHARON: YES! Exactly! With all the yelling and screaming and things being thrown around, how was I supposed to know you were just holding her down? It looked ugly, my daughter looked like she was in danger so you’re damn right I didn’t hesitate to react.
BROOKLYN: YAY I MADE LEMONADE! Suddenly me and Sharon both froze on the spot, Brooklyn came running into the garage with two big glasses of lemonade, handing it to both of us. Sharon flashed Brooklyn a smile while I just grabbed it, she then turned around and left us both alone again, going back upstairs.
SHARON: That’s my daughter and I just don’t want to see her hurt. You really hurt her, you know that? Maybe I did advise her to stay away from you after the breakup, maybe I did set her up on a few dates, maybe I was upset when I heard you two started communicating again, and yes, maybe I was also furious when I found out that you two decided to get married so quickly… ESPECIALLY when you two weren’t even together or dating when it happened, if you’re going to hate me for that? Fine, but I’m just looking out for my daughter.
SHARK: I always showed my love for Brooklyn yo, so the fact that you-
SHARON: Ha! Yeah, you really showed her when you decided to just jump into another relationship with that ex-girlfriend of yours, or how about that red head? All those girls you were with when Brooklyn was nothing but an angel, not messing around, always loyal to you.Sharon shook her head and smiled at me all sarcastically as she took a sip out of her lemonade. I grabbed my glass and tipped it over just a little bit, letting it all pour down the floor, most of it splashing onto her shoes.
SHARK: This ain’t even real lemonade… I ain’t drinking this, this shit’s as fake as you. Suddenly, she took what was left of her glass and threw her drink all over me, the juice splashing onto my face and shirt. It seemed like this was all perfect timing because Brooklyn was standing right there staring at us in disappointment.
I looked at the two of them and shrugged my shoulders, taking my shirt off and using the dry part to wipe my face as I walked away from Sharon and went over to Brooklyn.
SHARK: I told you what would happen if she said somet-
BROOKLYN: Whatever I shook my head and walked off, I could hear Brooklyn actually arguing with Sharon as I walked away, she definitely wasn’t taking sides. Although she wanted us both to get along she was very neutral. After she was done giving her mother a lecture about how I was her husband and baby father, I knew that she’d be coming over to give me a lecture about how Sharon was her mother and the kids Grandmother.
I just didn’t know if this was going to work out because we had a lot of holes to patch. One thing I knew for certain though was this shit was going to have to wait… if I had to not speak to Sharon for a week or avoid seeing her then that’s exactly what I was going to do.
This match with Sister Liliana meant the fucking world to me and I wasn’t going to allow her to grab another win over me for the same ole outside interference from my personal life.
I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate one full year of the PWP than to give the fans all around the world the most vicious and ruthless knockout they’ve ever seen. This won’t just land on Youtube on Worldstar…
I’m going to put this ice cream cone dressing hoe on the 5’oclock News, August 30th marks her funeral, I kill her and bury her on the same damn night, all in the same damn hour.
R.I.P Sister Liliana.
SCENE002: “CLASS IS NOW IN SESSION”
AUGUST 17TH 2014
UNKNOWN LOCATION
CAMERA: [ON]
The scene opens up in a dark classroom, the lights quickly turn on and the camera pans around the whole room, adjusting itself and focusing on the center of the classroom. You can see a single row of desks with cardboard cut outs of some of the PWP Roster Members behind each desk.
On the one row, there is Sister Liliana, Zack Jones, Blake Jones, Shawn Roberts, Sylar Drake and Stefan Raab.
Suddenly… static can be heard from the P.A System before a voice plays over it.
“May I have your attention please? May Have your attention please…. Will the REAL PWP Champion please stand up? I repeat… will the REAL PWP Champion please stand up?”The camera continues to focus on the cardboard cut outs until it pans all around towards the teacher's desk. The back of the chair is facing the camera but clearly there is a real person sitting on the chair, he slowly stands up and turns around as the camera zooms into his devilish smirk.
“I’m back motherfuckers” James Shark stands before the classroom as he jumps right on top of the teacher’s desk, standing right above it, staring down at all of the cut outs with his arms crossed.
“Daddy’s home, yall hoes missed me?…… Probably not and I don’t blame yall one bit. You see I was greedy, unfair, selfish even…I took the spotlight and I didn’t share it with none of you bitches. The moment I left yall had your chances and shared the championship. I mean, come on, I brought meaning to that fucking belt and now look at it now… that PWP World Championship got shared MORE times than Neon’s pussy man…”Shark quickly turns his head to the camera and winks.
“Shoutout to the homegirl, she still got more nuts than all of you combined.”He then turns to face the cut outs again.
“Back to the point though. Not one of you fucks could even defend the title belt once and that’s what it’s all about. Winning the damn belt is easy, you can’t defend it? Then you never even won it to begin with is how I see it….”
“Sister Liliana to Blake Jones, Blake Jones to Zack Jones, hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Zack Jones handed it out to you Sylar Drake or you Shawn Roberts…. But really, it doesn’t matter, none of you cowards are champion material, the ONLY reason you fools played hot potato with the damn thing is because I slipped, BUT GUESS WHAT? NIGGER ALMIGHTY IS HUMAN TOO, HE CAN MAKE A MISTAKE, BUT UNLIKE YOU RETARDED WHITE FOLK, I CAN LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES, and I’m telling yall right now, it won’t ever…. Ever happen again.”Shark jumped off of the desk and walked over to the Sister Liliana cut out.
“There is SO much I have to say to you but at the same time, so much I have to show you. I really got to educate your ass on the real James Shark, because the nigga you stepped into the ring with in May was NOWHERE near the James Shark these white girls know and love.”
“Fuck you. Fuck Father Jones. Fuck what you both think. Fuck what you both know. You both don’t know shit. You think defeating me wasn’t a fluke? You think you something special Lilly? You beat me only to lose your next match you dumb Joshua Duncan cocksucker. Yeah, that’s right, I said it, you don’t think I know what you did to even GET the title shot in the first place? Well I hope you like the taste of your own ass bitch cause Joshua really fucked you in the ass this time around.”
“Maybe you too blind to realize it, but this time is going to be a lot different, you may not know it, but I know it, he knows it and everybody else knows it, I mean come on bruh…. THE ONLY THING you fucking did worth mentioning in that match was being in the right place at the right time. It didn’t have to be you, you didn’t have to be the one…”
“It could’ve been a hoebag from WEW, a tranny from CWF, or even that untalented, ass kissing, dickless, magina equipped sad excuse for a “wrestler” Calvin Harris. ANYBODY Shark lunged forward and grabbed Sister Liliana’s desk, throwing it across the room as he got right in front of the cut out’s face, tapping it on the forehead.
“Get it through that brainless semen filled skull of yours yo! Every god damn person that watched our match that night KNOWS damn well that I didn’t take your bitch ass seriously, but now? Now shit just got real breh. I close my eyes and I see that ugly fuckin face of yours. I’m walking around my damn house and I randomly hear your annoying ass voice. I’m straight up having sex with my girl and I have to make up some dumbass excuse about why I can’t get hard, when really, it’s because I’m imagining it’s you. You got me paranoid you hoe. You’re inside my damn head and it’s been that way ever since you got lucky against me.”He looked like he was about to break the cut-out in half but he took a step back instead and flashed that evil smirk of his again.
“To be honest… that shit used to upset me, but now? Now I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re exactly where I want you to be…”
Shark points at his own forehead.
“Right here… in my head, I’m consumed by you yo, I’m obsessed with you. I’ve watched our match a dozen times along with your promos and other matches. You’ve gotten to me in such a way, that I probably know you better than you know yourself. I got enough confidence in me to tell myself that when we’re in that ring, I know what your reaction will be if I step forward, step backward, throw this or do this. I know what you’re going to think, I know what you’re going to do, what mistakes you’ll make and how you’ll make them….Like shit… you’re FIRST mistake was ACCEPTING this match to begin with.”He shrugs his shoulders and takes a look at the other cut outs, his eyes growing wide in surprise when he notices the Stefan Raab one. He was clearly what was wrong with the picture, the odd one out.
“Man… what the hell... WHY the fuck are you here you German pedophile!? You in the wrong classroom, the kindergarten classroom down four doors, but hey… while you’re here….”
Shark quickly jogs over to Stefan’s desk, pulling the Stefan Raab cardboard cut-out from behind the desk and tossing it onto the floor before he unzips his pants and begins to take a leak on it as the camera hovers a large and long censor bar over Shark’s BBC.
“That’s how I feel about you, your family, and your career nigga. You don’t deserve to be on the same card as me AND on second thought… that’s how I feel about most of you people.”
Shark turns back towards the other cut-outs, ignoring all of them except for Zack. He walks towards it and leans in close to it, eye to eye.
“You know…. Just because I call myself the REAL PWP Champion, doesn’t mean I have plans on getting my belt back. I want you to know that Zack, but I also want you to know that the goal here is to come in, fuck Sister Liliana up and ruin her day… but now that I think about it, and I see you here, with your goofy ass smile, sitting down in my motherfucking classroom… I think about what you’re doing. You don’t think I know what you’re doing? Oh I know what you’re doing…. Walking around with my title and trying to do what I did with it? Trying to do it BETTER than I did?”Shark continued to stare it down before he slowly shakes his head.
“Nah… I take that as a personal: Fuck You, I’m going to beat your record, and I don’t like that. Who knows? When I’m done whooping Sister’s ass I might just barge up into your locker room and give you some of this ass whooping too. We don’t need to have an official match or a referee, as far as I’m concerned, fuck it. I just want to show you who’s the king.”He then brings his attention over to both Sylar and Robert.
“That goes for the both of you too. Whichever one of yall feels like being a hero that night and walking out with the villain’s title, then just know you can get this ass whooping too… as a matter of fact, there’s enough ass whooping to go around for all of you son's of bitches, all of yall can get it…. BUT most importantly….”The camera quickly pans over and zooms right into Sister Liliana.
“You.” It zooms out of picture to show James Shark now standing in front of it one last time.
“No matter who else I decide to whoop that night, just know you getting the worst beating out of all of em. August 30th… me and you got a date and I ain’t bringing my wallet bruh, you paying for everything, I’m going to MAKE you pay for everything.”
“Every punch I throw at you… you’re paying for it.”
“Every time we clinch up… you’re paying for it.”
“Every mistake you make… you’re paying for it.”
“As soon as that motherfucking bell rings… bitch, you’re paying for it.”
“I’m going to leave your ass broke as fuck, a bloody mess, broken, defeated, finished, laid out, faced down, ass up… knocked the fuck out bruh, and when it’s all said and done… you’re going to be the last one on planet earth to finally figure out what the whole world’s been trying to tell you from day one…”
“You never defeated James Shark. You could never defeat James Shark, and you damn sure as hell won’t EVER… in this life or the next… be able to defeat James motherfucking Shark”Just as Shark finishes speaking, the bell in the classroom begins to ring but he quickly holds his hands up in the air as if he’s stopping them all from leaving.
“Hold up, hold up, hold up…. Where yall cockwaffles goin? Next up is history man, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s exactly what yall are….HISTORY. I hope you bitches had fun while it lasted, BUT I’m back now…PWP is once again Shark invested waters and it’s too late to swim to shore, yall in too deep… just like I said… yall history… and I’m making it.”The camera zooms into Shark’s face as he cocks a confident smile as the camera fades to black.