The Stoke Files: Part Two (Conclusion)
“Backstory and All of That”
You know, as I sit here holding this copy of Advanced Warfare, I can’t help but be reminded of one person…
Jessica Sears…
Jessica use to be a friend...well, hmm. Yeah, I guess “friend” would describe her; though, she was a low-level friend at best. Truthfully, she and I never really saw eye to eye; and, perhaps that was my fault. As bad as this may sound, I never intended to become her friend; it or less just kind of happened.
Bayani was a true friend to me when I joined KWI. In many ways, that place was a lot like high school. I was...different: I was older than everyone except the trainers, I was new to the program and I didn’t know anyone. Bayani was the first peer to actually take an interest in me and spark up a conversation. I was joked around, saying he first approached me because we are both minorities; but honestly, Bayani is just a cool dude.
And, that cool dude was dating Jessica.
So, by default, Jessica became my friend too. What a rocky friendship that was huh? Jess never really liked me; furthermore, she was afraid and intimidated of me. I did try to foster some kind of meaningful bond with her, about after a while, it became clear that my efforts were kind of useless.
Meanwhile, the bond between Bayani and I grew closer. And...a love was formed.
I guess a smart people would have blocked out that love; an intelligent person would have hide their feelings. But, that’s not me; I tend to say what’s on my heart, whether it’s right or wrong. I’ve always been like that. So, instead of lock those feelings away―I shared them.
Had I known sharing my feeling would cause this great shit-storm….hmmm, I probably still would have done it I think. Did my decision hurt some people? Indeed it did. However, people talk about how no one in wrestling is honest. So, I went against the grain, and, was honest.
So, who else did my decision hurt?
Marcus and Luke…
Let’s start with Luke. He and I met slightly after I began training. We talked for a while, and I’m not sure why, but he took a liking to me. Eventually, he started to develop feelings for me; he might deny it if you asked him.
I could feel it though.
I never wanted to hurt Luke, but I just wasn’t interested. And so, I guess I kind of rejected him.
He transformed that rejection into love for Jessica. Foolish love, but love all the same I suppose.
And then, there was Marcus.
Marcus and I first started interacting on Twitter. We normally trained on different days with different instructors, so we rarely saw each other. But, we talked for a bit, and then decided to go out. We had a wonderful time; and that wonder fun time lead to a week or two of lust and passion.
Hmm, in a sense, I guess I kind of used Marcus. I enjoyed his time, and I did love him. Nonetheless, he was...a placebo. I tried to use my Marcus to replace my love for Bayani, and that just didn’t work.
And when I realized that it wouldn’t work, I broke things off.
…
I could go on and on about Jessica, about Luke; however, I just don’t want to. You don’t know how tired I am of all this shit. I had great matches in SPITFIRE, I’ve been thriving in HKW, and I’ve been branching out to PWP―I’ve moved on.
But, for some reason, I keep getting dragged back into everything.
So, maybe this match is necessary. Every story, joyous or twisted, needs some kind of ending. As far as I’m concerned, this match is that ending.
Hmm, you know, I’ve touched on everyone in detail...except Bayani; and, that was intentional. Right now, I don’t know what to think about Bayani. He’s been moody and distant; when I asked him what was the matter, he dodged the question faster than George Bush dodged that shoe. Bayani is my friend; however, I don’t have the time to hand his hand and stroke his ego, not anymore.
I just hope he’s ready for this match. Not physically prepared; I mean mentally. Not only that, but I hope he is ready for life in HKW. Because the fact of the matter is we could end up fighting each other very soon.
50 Cal (Audio Log)
This match, ha, I guess you could say it’s been a long time in the making. All the emotion, all the anger, all the pain―it’s all been leading to this match.
This is the end game.
And I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m fully prepared for this match.
This match is completely fueled by emotion; and to be honest, I think that’s what makes me stand out a bit from the rest. The simple truth of the matter is everyone else is still wrapped up, and they’ve let their emotions consume them.
Have I done some shady shit? If course I did. Was I 100 percent honest with everyone? No I was not. But, apparently, unlike everyone else here, I’ve owned up to my mess. I understand my role in all of this; and I’ve accepted it.
But the one thing that makes me stand out his the fact that I’ve done my best to move on. And, I’ve done myself to focus on WRESTLING.
WRESTLING, that’s something that has been severely lost in the shuffle in this whole ordeal. Bayani didn’t get into wrestling to fight some petty blood-feud; he got into this Business to live his dream, better himself, and make his family proud. Luke got into Business to follow his dreams. And Me? I got into this Business because being a wrestler is something I’ve wanted to do since I was young; and, I got into this Business to make my brother proud!
Three of us, we all had valid reasons for wrestling, and those reasons have been lost.
Hell, even you, Jessica, your reasons for wrestling were somewhat valid. I get it, wrestling purists will always looking down on you. The three of us got into this sport because we loved it; you got into this sport to try and save your relationship. While I don’t believe that’s the best reason to jump in wrestling, you did what you thought was best.
That, I can respect.
Hmm, but you know what Jessica, there are things about you that I don’t respect honestly. Jessica, you once told me that you were intimidated by me; that you felt lesser than me. And at one point in time, I thought that made you weak. But, you aren’t weak...are you Jessica? Jess, you can call me a liar; that’s perfectly fine, because I did lie. You can even call me a cheater if you’d like.
However, one thing that I am not, is a manipulator...
That would be you Jessica.
Jessica, darling, you hide behind the fact that you "claim" to be a sweet and “innocent” girl. That’s not the case though, right Jessica? You’re a wolf in sheep’s clothing Jessica, because the fact of the matter is you’ve broken more hearts than I have dear. I may have thrown the final stone to shatter the house that you and Bayani built; however, you were the one that built that house with glass. Your jealousy killed that relationship, whether it was warranted or not. That is on you Jessica.
Ha, and this whole “heel shit” that Bayani thinks he doing―that’s on you and Roslyn. You two created this monster; and now, you’ve got to fight him.
Now, surely that’s all the damage that sweet and innocent Jessica Sears as committed?
Hmm...surely not!
Do you know how many times Luke called me, complaining about you? Do you know how many times Luke came to me feeling deflated and rejected, because of you? And even more ironically, do you know many times I defended your ass when Luke was ready to dump you!?
Don’t think I did that for your benefit; I did that because I knew just how deeply Luke cared about you.
So let recap:
You helped break up your own relationship…
You created this emo version of Bayani that’s running around…
You, on multiple occasions, tried to hurt and damage Luke…
OH, and let us not forget that the whole reason Bayani and Luke hate each other is because of YOU.
That’s...that’s an impressive record for someone who is supposed to be “innocent.” That’s an even better record for a master manipulator.
But we aren’t done are we?
We have covered me yet have we.
Jessica, you claim to be a good person; you claim to be pure. But the fact of the matter is you’re piece of shit...just like me. You like “truth” right? Well, let’s look at some “truths” shall we?
For months, you talked behind my back. You told your sad story to past trainers, in order to get everyone on “your side”―Truth.
You took it upon yourself to go to my close personal friends, and attempt to destroy the solid friendships that I worked hard to build. And you did so, because you were angry and bitter―Truth.
Out of everyone in this match, you’ve been the most petty―Truth.
You aren’t pure Jessica; you aren’t blameless. And this anger, all this emotion, it doesn’t steam from my actions―it steams your actions. It entire match revolves around YOU my dear; because you aren’t what you claim to be. You aren’t Batman, you aren’t Sailor Moon, and you aren’t some great hero like you claim to be.
You’re more like Harvey Dent...two-faced.
You’re akin to Emma Frost, from Marvel. You play with people’s emotions; you control them without them even knowing.
I hate to burst your bubble; however, you aren’t a good person Jessica.
Want to know what else you aren’t?
You aren’t the better wrestler!
You aren’t better in the ring than me, and you aren’t better in the ring than Bayan, regardless of his attitude. You definitely aren’t better than Luke. Face the facts Jessica; you are the odd man out in this match. And yes, I understand you are angry and take you want to take vengeance. But anger alone doesn’t translate into skill in the ring; and it sure as Hell doesn’t translate into experience.
Jessica, you’ve got one of the best trainers in the world?
Very nice.
All the training in the world doesn’t mean shit; what matters is what happens in the ring and how you react to it. Neither Bayani nor I have wrestled for a very long time; however, we’ve both had our fair share of battles, or fair share of wars.
Do you really think just because you’ve beaten Aria that you’re a warrior now?
I’m here to tell you right now that you are not. You aren’t the warrior you think you are; and I’m going to prove it.
Jessica, I don’t care about beating your face in; I don’t care about simply knocking you out, like Aria. No, my goal is much simpler.
My goal is simply to out-wrestle you. My goal is to lock you up, tie you up, and stretch you out. My goal is to run circles around you. And lastly, my goal is to hit you with the stiffest kick you’ve ever felt and pin you.
My goal is to out-wrestle you!
I’m not like you dear. Wrestling wasn’t some last ditch effort for me; and it wasn’t some attempt to try and build my self-confidence. I’m confident enough. I got into wrestling because it was a childhood dream.
I got into this Business to be the best wrestler I can be.
So I’m fully prepared for this match love; I’m prepared to dish out a beating, and receive a beating. I’ve lived my entire life for this moment: a high profile match, all the lights on me…
I’m ready for this match…
Are you?
…
Luke, what can I say about you?
You and I have been friends for a long time. Honestly, I don’t even know how we met. All I can remember is that we Tweeted each other for a while, and we became best of friends.
There’s no bad blood between you and I, so the only thing I can really do is talk about wrestling with you.
Luke, if anyone in this match knows how good I am in the ring then it’s you. When Bayani and I trained, it was always within the confines of KWI; it was ordered, it was structured. I couldn’t train like I wanted to; I could test out thing. But you and I...we’ve trained outside of those confines.
Do, you remember our first session?
Ha, it was about a month or two after I had been training. I was still rough, still green. Any other wrestler in your position would have shunned me; they would have tossed me aside. You didn’t though; you were exactly excited to work with me.
And that’s when you saw me live and in person. You saw me without those constraints. And, that’s when you saw how good I was.
I don’t think people realize just how good I was, even when I was rookie.
But Luke, you got a firsthand view. And then, you also got a glimpse of my skills after I graduated from KWI. It was only a few months later, but my skills grew exponentially. If fact, you told me I didn’t even seem like the same person.
Luke, that last session was what, four to six months ago?
Can, you possibly imagine how good I am now? Sure, you could watch my HKW matches, but you know better than anyone that being in the ring is different than watching someone on TV.
You and I have worked together and trained together.
This time, however, things are going to be different...far different. You’re my friend Luke, outside of that ring. Nevertheless, when we step into that ring together, all friendships are off; all alliances are off. Inside the confines of that ring, you are an opponent. You are an opponent who wants to bash my face in; you are an opponent wants to embarrass me.
You’re an opponent who wants to defeat me.
And me?
Well, I’m the opponent who will drop you right on your head; I’m the opponent who control the tempo and speed it up so fast that you are gassed in the first few minutes…
I’m the opponent who will kick your head in!
This is match I want to win, and honestly, it’s not about closure or anything like that for me. I compete in that ring because I want to be the best. I don’t want to defeat you and Jessica in order to gain some kind of retribution; and, I don’t want revenge. No sir. I want to the defeat you because I think I’m pretty good in the ring Luke. But who gives a fuck about my thoughts right? It’s all about what you do in that ring. I feel like I’m the best wrestler in this match, and so, I want my team to win this match; I want to it prove to you and everyone else just who good I truly am!
Luke, if you think your singles match with Bayani was fierce, then you are going to be in trouble when you and I meet in the ring; I’m going to be ten times more aggressive than he ever was in that match. You know what’s really going to make me dangerous though? Bayani...he was filled with rage when you faced him last time; he wasn’t thinking clearly. But me? My mind isn’t cloudy Luke; my mind is clear, and I’m focused. THAT’S what is going to make me more dangerous than my tag team partner.
I want you to know something. Between you and me, it’s all about competition, it’s all about who is the better wrestler...at least in my mind. I’m looking to prove that I’m the best. After this is all said and done, you and I will be cool again, regardless of your affiliation with Jessica and some of my other enemies…
Remember that.
…
And then there’s you Bayani. I realize you are on my team. However, I feel like I need to address you as well.
You and I have trained together many times; and, we’ve squared off once before. I understand and realize just hard good you are…
When you are focused.
But, as of late, your focus has been lacking; and don’t bull shit me and say that it hasn’t been.
You want to end things; you want to win? Well then, you need to get your head into the damn game.
This match has the seeds to be the match of night; I’m going to do everything in my power to make that happen. And unfortunately, I can’t do that alone.
So, go out and party…
Go out and get wasted…
Go out and get laid…
Do whatever it is you need to do to get your mind right, because you need to be ready for this match.
...Oh, and welcome to HKW.
END
Afterword
I’ll be perfectly honest; I’m sure how the aftermath of this will be. My goal is to win―period. However, my goal doesn’t match up with everyone else’s’. I’m not here to be a stupid anime character or pretend to be a movie star. I’m not here to conclusion some hellacious blood feud.
I’m here to win.
And afterwards?
Hell, I don’t know. I know that my boyfriend wants me to make amends with Jessica; if it wasn’t for him, I’d cut her ass off. But I’ll honor his request and try to make amends.
But after that, I’m done trying.
I’ve got my own career to focus on; my own life to focus on. And, well...that’s just the way it’s going to be.
That statement also applies to Bayani. If he gets his mind straight, then we can still be ok. But if he’s going to be all in his feelings then he can turn on some Drake and kick rocks.